Vicarious: Sh*t I will Never (ever, ever) Watch

Monday, July 11, 2016

Vicarious: Sh*t I will Never (ever, ever) Watch

I hate horror movies. At the same time, I have a morbid (pun intended) fascination for them. It comes from watching scary movies and reading Stephen King books at too, too young an age (and anyone who tells you those things don't make a difference hasn't lived in my head for the past 30+ years).

So, my strategy is this: I will hear of a movie, or see a preview, and then YouTube, IMDb, Google Image, and Wikipedia the stuffing out of it. In this way, I can understand the movie, while at the same time maintaining the necessary buffer that will enable me to sleep at night, go to the bathroom alone, drive, or any other activity than sit in my house, with my back to the wall and all doors nailed shut, staring at the front door with an axe in hand. And you think I'm kidding.

By the way, if you ever make a horror movie, be sure that the main characters' names are not too similar to each other, because the Wikipedia entries can become very confusing. Also, if you are a Wikipedia contributor, proof read your entries! People's imaginations are at risk here!

Here are the top five things I will look up but never watch:
-Korean horror films (Tale of Two Sisters, Whispering Corridors, Three Extremes)
-Human Centipede series, which then led to Scandinavian horror films (
-120 Days of Sodom
-You’re Next

I'm sorry, and also, you're welcome.

No comments:

Post a Comment