Slightly crunchy

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 16:06:00 +0000

Adventures in Homeschooling--part 2

So after the initial decision, I panicked. I started doubting whether this would really work well for our family. I decided, as a friend instructed me, to place my anxieties in a bag and hang it on the cross. My current, constant scripture is "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength" Phillipians 4:13.

In the past week I have:

researched various methods for homeschooling
chosen a method
ordered a planning ebook and printed it
researched suggested resources for teaching
ordered said resources or downloaded all the free stuff
made back-up discs of all the ebooks I bought
planned our year, our terms and now am working on our weekly schedule
found a fabulous online organizer here
started the kids on some basics to help us get into the swing of things

I've had very little sleep, most nights I've been up until midnight or later, but it is worth it. I am so excited about all the possibilities this year. The kids have given their input on specifics they would like to learn more about.

As it stands now, this is a year-long experiment and we'll decide at the end of the year what happens next. I'm secretly hoping this is a long-term experiment, but the hubby is leaning towards an as necessary basis!

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:51:00 +0000

Adventures in Homeschooling--part 1

Two weeks ago I found out that my children were denied the transfer back to the elementary school they had been attending due to "excessive, unexcused abscences". When asked what constituted "excessive" I was told that Mr. H determines what is excessive. For my kids excessive was 9 abscences BETWEEN the 2 of them. He informed me that because I had not notified the school they were absent or turned in notes or made phone calls he was basing his decision on that. I asked for the dates of the infractions and was able to tell him right then why they had missed those dates. Not only did I call in each one, but sent notes. Towards the end of last semester the school sent a note home that they were missing excuses for those same dates, so once again (for the 3rd time) I wrote why my children missed each date and then took the list to the school and handed it to the secretary. She assured me that they would correct the files. Guess what? They didn't and my children were denied a transfer BECAUSE SOMEONE DIDN'T DO HER JOB.

After talking to the hubby, and going back over all the problems we've had with the district, we decided that a year of homeschooling would be the better route for our kids. We're meeting lots of opposition from our families (who live over 1000 miles from us). My mother-in-law is a public school teacher in a fabulous district back home. My mom says "just put them in public school and stop being a snob". My question is: if we can't afford a private school, and the district here leaves much to be desired, what's the better way to go--bad public school or home?

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:31:00 +0000

The Lie of the EDD: Why Your Due Date Isn't when You Think
How the 40 week pregnancy myth came about and why it's totally wrong.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1047180/the_lie_of_the_edd_why_your_due_date.html

This is a great article, but did it make any waves? Not much seeing as how I just received a link to it today, 10 June 2009 and it is dated 24 September 2008. Will women print it out, take it to their OBs, midwives, etc and demand that they recalculate their dates? I think a small minority might, and I will encourage my clients to do so as well.

I knew with my first child that the due date I was given could not possibly be correct. The nurse recording my information insisted on going by my LMP (last menstrual period) instead of by the date of conception. I had notoriously irregular periods and often skipped a month. How did I know the date of conception? I wasn't charting my temps and signs like I would later--the Army helped me out by taking my hubby to the field for lengthy periods of time. We had a 2 day window that we could have conceived and then he went back to the field for training.

I continuously measured a week or 2 behind my EDD, which with my first was given as 15 April 2001. My LMP was 21 July 2000. I figured conception to have occurred on 9 or 10 August. By using the method suggested in the article of taking LMP subtracting 3 months and adding 15 days my EDD should have been 6 May 2001(my guess was 10 May 2001). That's a difference of 21 days!!! Twenty-one days makes a huge difference in the health of a newborn. At my 40 week appointment I was told that the following week I would be induced. The more I thought about it, the angrier I was. How could someone else dictate when my child should be born? Why should I listen to them when I KNEW when we conceived and that instinct was telling me my baby wasn't ready yet? I decided to skip the induction. The hospital and the myriad of doctors I saw were angry with me.

On April 28th, 11 days before my best guess, I went into labor. My son was born on 30 April 2001, a healthy 8 pounds with lots of vernix (a sign he wasn't post-date).

With my next 2 pregnancies figuring out my dates was a bit more difficult. I experienced lactational ammenorhea--breastfeeding induced suppression of ovulation, no periods, bliss. I breastfed my son unrestrictedly (this is a whole other post) day and night. I did not ovulate until he was 14-16 months old, and we conceived the first time I did ovulate. This happened a 2nd time as well. I went 6 years and 9 months without having a menstrual cycle, and ovulated twice, both times resulting in the pregnancies of my girls. I loved the expression on the OB's face when I gave my LMP. He didn't even want to do the blood test, convinced that I could not have conceived. I was then referred to a midwife with pregnancy #2, and she was not surprised, estimated my due date by a physical exam, and was off by a day according to ultrasound.

My thought? Trust your instincts. If you are trying to conceive (TTC) chart carefully and be armed with all the information about due dates and risks of inductions when your OB or hospital-based midwife starts talking induction at your 40 week visit--trust me, it happens, I'm a labor doula and rarely do my clients go into labor on their own before 40 weeks, even 41 weeks. The standard where I live is to induce at 41 weeks+3 days--which is only 290 days, 2 days past the 288 number most first-time moms hit. The OBs and even the CNMs use scare tactics to get mom to induce at 41+3: "the placenta starts shutting down at 40 weeks (heard this yesterday from a client)" "risk of baby dying rises dramatically between 41 & 42 weeks"

Ladies, the bottom line is this--know your body, trust your body, stand up for yourself. If you feel uncomfortable with the date(s) your careprovider has given you, question it. If you don't like the answers or lack thereof, if your gut tells you to do some digging, find another careprovider who will listen to you.

I have a whole other rant I could go on about how birth is a natural process, but I'll save it for another day.

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 22:51:00 +0000

Still not unpacked

Ok, yes, the rumors are true. My house is still not unpacked...completely. We finally got the wall of boxes out of our bedroom the week before Thanksgiving. There is still a garage-full just waiting to be unpacked. For those civilians out there this is probably a horrifying thought. For military families, well, there's always a box or 10 that has a sticker on the side from every duty station it's been to. It gets classified as a repack. I think my whole garage might end up a repack Summer 2010.

The necessities have been unpacked and I'm wrestling with the thought that we obviously don't NEED what is still hiding in those boxes. I still need to go through them and determine the proper donation location, but I'm not up for it. Not right now. There are other things that need to be taken care of.

Besides raising my family, I have another very important project I'm working on.....that's a whole other post!

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 04:32:00 +0000

I've been inspired by a former classmate to write more often. I won't be able to keep up on a daily basis, I can barely keep up with life on a daily basis! I just want to have a record of what is going on in our lives, my life, on a semi-regular basis.

That said, DH is gone for the 4th week out of the last 5. The Army can't see fit to send him in one lump of time which is far easier to deal with. Instead, they send him home on the weekends and then we start over again on Monday. The kids get so shaken up with the gone-home-gone deal. The first 2 weeks were so difficult. They didn't want to listen, get up, etc. After the 2nd week I asked for prayers at church after communion and week 3 went so much better. "Trust in the Lord" should have been my theme, but I'm too busy trying to do it myself to remember where to go. I need that reminder--daily, hourly even.

DH was home last week and it was so nice to know that he would be home in the evenings. That dinner and bedtime would be team work instead of just me. It's nice just to have him to lean on.

We're so busy during the week--karate, ballet, Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts--but it is worth it. The kids love their activities and I love seeing them learn and grow.

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 06:37:00 +0000

We survived the move, sort of....

My parent's visit wasn't as stressful as I thought, aside from having to put the guest room back together for 2 nights. They took the kids out of town on "Grandma & Grandpa's Adventure". The kids loved it and so did my parents. They pulled out on Monday morning about 45 minutes before the packers arrived.

For a change, the packing seemed to go really well. We had intelligent packers, who were using common sense. Or so I thought. As I've begun to unpack I'm realizing that I need to stand over them with my own Sharpie and list specifically what is in the box. I'm all sorts of crafty--quilts, kid's clothes, scrapbooking, stamping, and lots of kid's crafts. I recieved about 30 boxes labled "Sewing Linen, Sewing Room" Um, where is my scrapbooking stuff? Oh, right, I have to open all the boxes and sort it out. My craft room was nicely organized by hobby. You wouldn't know that by opening the boxes though. It's hard to put stuff away when you can't find its "friends".

The craft room is a mess, but it will be fine. My children's beds, on the other hand, could use their hardware. What's that? You LOST it? How the heck are we supposed to put it back together? Oh, order some from the manufacturer. Righto. Let me get right on that. Our girls' bunk bed is from Germany and our son's bed was discontinued. We found comparable hardware for his bed and fixed it all up. The girls are sleeping on their mattresses on the floor. We move them each morning so that they have a place to play each day. And now we have to argue with the moving company over whether or not they will pay for a new bed.

I've also found lots of broken items. I still don't get why wrapping Tupperware in 6 sheets of paper is a good thing while wrapping my china gravy boat in one is ok. Hmmmm, maybe I should start teaching a Logics of Packing Someone Else's Stuff course to packers. If you don't know what it is, don't bend it, cram it, twist or otherwise deface something just to get it to fit in the box.

One of these days I'll get the hang of this moving thing. Hopefully before July 2010!

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 19:26:00 +0000

Moving

We're an Army family, so moving is inevitable in our lives. It's never easy, usually stressful and sometimes fun. There are several things making this move more difficult than others. This time I thought I'd try to plan out a schedule so that we accomplished something everyday and we would be ready for the packers. Not so. P-day is in 7 days and I'd rather burn the place down than have to try to rush around like a crazy person for the next 7 days. Oh, and did I mention my parents are coming to town?

Keeping the house picked up. The kids don't seem to get it. The husband doesn't seem to get it. I feel like the attitude around here is that mom will take care of it. Hey! Leave something lying on the floor and mom will get it.
Yes, the yard does need to be weeded. Yes, we need to get some sod to patch the remaining spots in the yard. Yes, there are things that need to be done outside, but NEWS FLASH! The yard isn't getting packed. The stuff INSIDE the house is. I need help inside.
Laundry. Try not to create more than a week's worth this week. I have enough other stuff to take care of. The morning the packers arrive I want to pull the sheets off the beds, wash them, and then leave them to be packed. I don't want to take 8 loads of dirty laundry with me in the car.
Visitors. Hi! So glad you want to come visit us. Colorado Springs is quite a lovely place to visit year round. I know you've been twice in the fall, but really, coming 2 days before my packers arrive and then asking if I'll be busy in the evenings, well, that's just silliness. No, I'll have nothing to do but make sure that everything is in its place for day 2. I've got to make sure that all of the screws, etc to each piece of furniture get labeled and placed with the item so that I can put it together when I get to Texas. I've got to make sure that everything gets pulled out from under the beds, that the shelves of closets have been reached, that all the pictures, art, etc get taken off the walls. I know you said you'd take the kids, but gosh, my plan of sending them to school & to a friend's house were quite ok with me. Oh, and you want to STAY HERE? Are you kidding me? I've already torn the guest room apart, put away the good towels, and am using the guest room as my "do not pack" base. It's ok, I'll just stay up all night one night to get it back into usable form. GEEZ
In-laws. I know it's been 6 months since you've seen us, and most of the time I like you, but after the Homecoming Debacle in January, I may need to see a therapist EVERY FREAKING DAY YOU ARE HERE. I understand that you have to take your vacation days or lose them, but really, showing up 7 days AFTER we arrive in Texas while we're still living in a box maze, again, silliness. Your being here won't make me unpack any faster, nor do I want your help unpacking. Take a VACATION not a come-bother-the-daughter-in-law-trip. Seriously, there are better places to vacation than Killeen. Oh, and I don't want to go to What-a-Burger or Jack-in-the-Box. Gross. That's the goal of the trip?
Hotel stays with 3 kids, a dog & a cat. Not fun. Even less fun when there are no suites available. A suite is less expensive than 2 rooms, but we still have to wait until the Army reimburses us. That means expensive. And the gas prices. I think it's time to raise the $.18 a mile reimbursement. Oh, and it doesn't matter which way you MapQuest it, Ft. Hood is way further than 816 miles from Ft Carson. I don't have the option to go "as a crow flies".

So now that I've bitched and moaned about the move, I'm looking forward to the new experiences we'll have when we get there. I'm hoping our neighbors are less clique-ish. We aren't in high school anymore. i'm hoping our neighborhood welcomes us. No one did when we moved in here. Just last night we saw a moving van pulling up to the house across the street. As soon as we got back from dinner we went over and said hello. Nice folks, too bad we're leaving.

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 06:06:00 +0000

I've been so busy preparing for our move this summer, that I haven't really been on the computer that much. Well, that and MY computer crashed and I have to use hubby's which I don't care for. I'm tethered to the wall with his, whereas with mine I could sit on the porch while the kids played. They don't take to kindly to mom hanging out upstairs and making them stay in while I prance around the web!

Yes, we're moving (again) this summer. I hate the actual packing and unpacking, but I love the adventure of moving somewhere new and having to find my way around. Currently I'm trying to figure out how to survive without a Whole Foods store that isn't an hour's drive away. I'm hoping to find a local store that is the equivalent. Or at least several farmer's markets!

So far we've found a house, figured out where the kids will be going to school and where hubby will be working. I just have to re-vamp my doula site, and pray for lots of business this fall!

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:08:00 +0000

Knitting, my new favorite hobby....

I learned to knit about 4 years ago when my husband was on his first deployment. I never really caught on, and only finished one neck gaiter. It was supposed to have been a scarf, but I got bored with it and turned it into a gaiter. LOL

Last August, I decided I needed to either pick up my needles or donate them to someone who could really get some use out of them. I decided to try another scarf and found some fabulous, boucle yarn at JoAnn's on clearance. I bought 2 skeins, took it home, had 2/3 of a scarf in about 2 hours and went back to buy more. I cranked out about 8 scarves between September and November. I put everything to the side for December and started back up in January. I decided that I couldn't screw up a doll's dress too badly, so I knit one figuring it would fit one of the hundreds of baby dolls we have here. It turned out pretty well--it fits a doll and isn't horribly misshapen. :)

In February I started a tote bag that I finished about a month later. I misplaced the straps, so it ended up staying with me because I can't give a twisted bag as a gift. I'm now working on a small purse for one of my girls and a tote bag for one of my sisters. I hope to start a sweater for me in the next month or so. I'm also trying to figure out socks. I get stitches cast on, and then they get frogged. I also have a nephew who needs some fun knitted things and a niece or nephew who will arrive in September who might need a sweater to wear this winter!

I can't believe how quickly I've turned away from my quilting--I haven't sewn since September! AHHHH! Still have some of those projects to finish......and a new one to get done before the 17th of April. I guess I'd better get moving.......

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 00:34:00 +0000

THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO A MILITARY WIFE!!!

I am not the author of this, and sadly I don't know which of my brilliant sisters wrote this, but I wanted to repost it. So, if you are the author of this, I'd love to give you credit!

Things Never to say to a Military Wife...Especially those whose loved ones are deployed...
1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds ---but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front.Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared ofdying.)

2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3. "At least he's not in Iraq."(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)

4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?"(Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.)

5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of alcohol can occasionally help!!!

6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can"get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."(Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you've gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it.Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a s***** ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)

9. "Wow you must miss him?"(This one also gets another big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.)

10. "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"(I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day ---and on maps everywhere.)

11. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there.(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)

12. "Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!"(hmmm, no i don't miss sex. i'm a robot. seriously...military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night.

last but not least....

13. "OH, that's horrible...I'm so sorry!"(He's doing his job and he's a badass. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 03:42:00 +0000

Varigated Tote from the pattern Felted Tote Bags
Designer: Two Old Bags

So I'm starting a new knitting project tonight....if I can figure out the directions. LOL I've sent an e-mail requesting clarification, so hopefully by the time I get to the part of the pattern I don't understand I'll be a little clearer as to how to do the proposed picking up of stitches. I do know that I didn't buy enough yarn, so I'll have to go back to yarn shop (darn it) to get more, but that can wait until their parking lot is a little less icy!

This will be the first felted project I've attempted, and I hope it goes well. The yarn I chose is pretty, varigated with turquoise, reds, browns, and oranges.

I'm off to start casting on the stitches.......I'll keep you posted.

birthstories@belliesbirthbabies.com (Olivia) — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 18:33:00 +0000

How To Survive a Deployment

These might not be the most politically correct ways, but they work at varying times:

Buy T-shirts from www.CafePress.com with all sorts of slogans about how much deployments suck. Some of my favorites: Approach with caution, Courage, Deprived, 15 Months, Freedom. Just search for Deployment and you'll come up with 20,000+ designs--one for every day of the deployment!
Drink. Heavily. (your drink of choice, currently I drink about a gallon of hot chocolate a day) At all hours of the day, but particularly after your phone conversations get cut off. Seriously, a 15 minute morale call? We need more like 3 hour ones.
Hire a nanny/au pair. Not sure why I didn't give this more thought before now, 2 weeks before he comes home.
Hire a maid. I did consider this, even interviewed a couple, but didn't find one I liked and who would use MY cleaning products. Or would move the fridge and stove to clean behind them. Or fold my clothes the way I like, there are just some things you can't let someone else do.
Once a week do something for yourself ALONE. Anything--manicure, pedicure, dinner ALONE, go to the bookstore, the library, the yarn shop, the quilt shop. You don't have to buy anything, just go zone out. If the weather's nice go for a walk, a hike, go fly a kite.
Pick a family activity you can all enjoy--we joined the YMCA. We go swimming a lot. They've got great childcare and I can have some alone time at the same location.
Hire a great babysitter that you can call with little notice who will be willing to take the kids.
Get a hobby. If you already have one, find some others with the same interest and meet once a month or more often.
Have a slumber party with your "battle buddy" and her kids. You can scrapbook and drink wine all night long while the kids watch movies. Then you just crash at whoever's house and no one has to drive or feel like they aren't being responsible.
Order pizza or some other delivery food once a week. You don't have to cook every night. Yes, it costs a little more, but which would you rather have--money or your sanity?
Check out your FRG or at least keep in touch with them. They do have fun, it just takes more people showing up. If all else fails form a splinter faction--you aren't bound by rules and you have WAY more fun!